Weddings in the West

GUJARATI NAAGAR WEDDING

Gujarat is the home of the Naagars but many Naagar families are settled in Uttar Pradesh, West Bengal and Punjab.

A progressive community, their girls are often married off with no expectations of wealth from the in-laws side. This is called 'kanku-kanya', meaning that the bride is welcome only with a vermilion mark on her forehead.

One ceremony which forms an integral part of any Naagar Brahmin wedding is the 'mosaalu', wherein the bride's 'mama' or maternal uncle brings the 'choodo' (ivory bangle - now replaced with acrylic or plastic), 'paanetar' (silk wedding sari usually white with red border) and a colourful basket containing gifts for his niece one day before the wedding.

Naagar Brahmin marriages are very colourful and the traditional Gujarati folk dance called the 'Garba' forms an integral part of the celebrations.
    
Some common surnames:
Majmudar, Pandya, Devedia, Trivedi, Mehta, Rana, Dikshit, Dave, Dwivedi, Yagnik, Saiyed, Diwan, Mankad, Machhar, Mankodi, Hathi, Vasavada, Vaishnav, Vastaraj
     
List of ceremonies  
  1.  Chandlo/Vivaha/Gol Dhana : Acceptance of the alliance  
  2.  Ganesh Sthpan/Ganesh Matli : Commencement of marriage rituals  
  3.  Garba : Traditional Gujarati dance  
  4.  Pithi : Beautification rituals  
  5.  Mandva Mahurat and Griha Shanti : Constructing the canopy for the wedding rites  
  6.  Mosaalu : The bride receives gifts from her maternal uncle  
  7.  Lagna : The wedding ceremony-divided into following segments:  
  8.  a) Varghodo : Groom's procession  
  9.  b) Varmala : The couple exchanges garlands  
  10.  c) Mangalastak : Verses glorifying Lord Ganesha and asking for the well being of the couple  
  11.  d) Kanyadaan : Giving away the bride  
  12.  e) Hasthamilap : Tying of the marital knot  
  13.  f) Pheras : Seven steps around the sacred fire  
  14.  Vidai : Bridal send off  
  15.  Reception : Post wedding celebrations

GUJARATI PATEL WEDDING
The Patels or Patidars of Gujarat are ambitious, intelligent, hardworking, hospitable and excessive spenders on occasions like marriages. Their weddings are arranged on a grand scale and are bright and colourful.

The bride and groom receive huge amounts of clothes and jewellery and the groom is given cash gifts at almost each ceremony; in fact after each 'parikrama' (circumvention around the sacred fire) his palms are crossed with gold!
    
Some common surnames:
Patel, Amin, Desai
     
List of ceremonies  
  1.  Chandlo Maatli : Acceptance of the alliance  
  2.  Ganesh Sthapan : Commencement of all marriage rituals  
  3.  Mehendi : The henna ceremony  
  4.  Garba and Dandia Raas : Traditional Gujarati dances  
  5.  Pre-nuptial ceremonies broken up into following segments: :   
  6.  a) Mandva Mahurat : Constructing the canopy for the wedding rites  
  7.  b) Pithi : Beautification rituals  
  8.  c) Griha Shanti : Invoking harmony within the planets  
  9.  Mameru or Mosaalu : The bride receives gifts from her maternal uncle  
  10.  Varghodo : The groom's procession  
  11.  Var Ponke : Welcoming the groom  
  12.  Lagna : The wedding ceremony- divided into following segments:  
  13.  a) Varmala : The couple exchanges garlands  
  14.  b) Kanyadaan : Giving away the bride  
  15.  c) Mangal Pheras : Circumventions around the sacred fire  
  16.  d) Saptapadi : Seven steps around the sacred fire  
  17.  Vadava Vanu : Bridal send off  
  18.  Var Ghodyu Pokvanu Che : Welcoming the bride into her marital home  
  19.  Reception : Post wedding celebrations

JEWISH WEDDING     
       
Jewish Talmudic law provided for three methods of establishing a marriage. All three had to be performed in the presence of acceptable witnesses.

The first was the act of cohabitation. However, this was generally frowned upon as not being a fitting way of getting married. The second method was the delivery of a document by the man to the woman and her acceptance of it. The third was the presentation to the woman of some article of established value and her acceptance of it. The structure of the present day wedding ceremony symbolically involves all three. At the wedding ceremony the groom presents his bride with both, a wedding band and a marriage contract.

There are three types of Jewish weddings: Orthodox, Conservative and Reform Wedding ceremonies. While all the three types are recognized in Jewish communities around the world, only the Orthodox ceremonies are recognized in Israel.
    
Some common surnames:
Israel, Jacob, Abraham, Joseph, Isaac, Sassoon, David, Kehimkar, Navgawkar, Penkar, Cheulkar, Chincholkar, Solomon, Cohen, Levi, Levin, Steins, Gouldman, Gold, Disney, Spielberg, Stern, Meyer, Greenberg, Levinstein, Frankenberg, Seagal
     
List of ceremonies  
  1.  The Engagement :   
  2.  The Aufruf : The Rabbi calls on the groom  
  3.  Groom's reception : The groom is honoured by being seated at the head of the table  
  4.  The wedding day :   
  5.  Mincha : Holy prayers in the synagogue  
  6.  Baddekin : Veiling of the bride  
  7.  The procession : The couple proceeds to the Chuppah  
  8.  Kiddushin : The blessing over wine  
  9.  Ketubah : The marriage contract  
  10.  Nissuin : The recitation of the Sheva Brachot  
  11.  Breaking the glass : The groom smashes the glass at the conclusion of the ceremony  
  12.  Yichud : Consummation of the marriage  
  13.  Seudat Mitzvah : The wedding feast

MAHARASHTRA KONKANSTHA BRAHMIN WEDDING  
Weddings in Maharashtra spell joy, hope and permanence for everyone involved. For the families of the couple, this day is the fruition of months of planning, buying and collecting items for the wedding. Great care is taken to ensure that the elders are respected and proprieties adhered to.

The bride's family hosts the wedding after consulting the groom's relatives about any special preferences. Though each community in Maharashtra (as in other parts of the country) follows slightly different traditions, there is no doubt that all of them look forward to this day of feasting and merrymaking.
    
Some common surnames:
Gaonkar, Dixit, Gore, Patwardhan, Marathe, Ogale, Tilak, Gokhale, Karve, Paranjpe, Chiplunkar, Ranade, Joshi, Bhat, Phadke, Joglekar, Kelkar, Lele, Apte, Limaye, Tambe, Abhyankar, Bapat, Doshi, Mulgand, Jhambekar, Agarkar, Dravid.
     
List of ceremonies  
  1.  Engagement :   
  2.  Vyahi Bhojan : The groom's family invites the bride's family for a meal  
  3.  Grahamak / Nav Grahi Shanti Puja : Invoking harmony within the planets  
  4.  Bangdi Bharan : The bangle ceremony  
  5.  Mehendi : The henna ceremony  
  6.  Kelvan : The bride's last meal as a maiden in her parental home  
  7.  Seemant Pujan and Vaang Nischayam : Honouring the groom  
  8.  Ghana Bharan and Haldi : Beautification rituals  
  9.  Dev Devak : Divine blessings are sought from the family deity  
  10.  Gauri Haar Puja : The bride performs a 'puja' for Goddess Gauri  
  11.  Varaat : The wedding procession  
  12.  Rukhavat : Breakfast is served to the groom and his close relatives  
  13.  Lagna Mahurat : The wedding ceremony - divided into following segments:  
  14.  a) Varmala : The couple exchanges garlands  
  15.  b) Kanyadaan : Giving away the bride  
  16.  c) Mangalsutra : The groom ties the 'mangalsutra' on the bride  
  17.  d) Paani Grahan : The groom vows to look after his wife  
  18.  e) Lajja Hom : Sacrifice offered to the sacred fire  
  19.  f) Saptapadi : Seven steps around the sacred fire  
  20.  g) Ashirwaad : The blessing  
  21.  Wedding Feast : Traditional meal served on banana leaves  
  22.  Vidaai : Bridal send off  
  23.  Griha Pravesh : The bride enters her marital home  
  24.  Reception : Post wedding celebrations  
  25.  Panch Pavan : Wedding feast served on the fifth day after the wedding  

MARATHA WEDDING
Shivaji Bhosale, the most eminent Maratha was the one who first made the bid to set up a separate kingdom.

This is a powerful community in Maharashtra and comprises of Kuli Marathas and Kunbi Marathas. On all special occasions like marriages the 'Kuldevta' or family deity is worshipped. 'Lagnaach Bedi' or finding a suitable match is the first step in any Maharashtrian wedding and the Maratha community is no different.

A ceremony typical to this community takes place about three of four days before the wedding when wheat is sown in the earth and allowed to grow.
   
Some common surnames:
Bhosale, Deshpande, Gavaskar, Tendulkar, Manjrekar, Shinde, Holkar, Ghorpade, Scindia
    
List of ceremonies  
  1.  The engagement :   
  2.  Bangdi Bharan : The bangle ceremony  
  3.  Mehendi : The henna ceremony  
  4.  Previous days celebrations :   
  5.  Varpuja : Honouring the groom  
  6.  Haldi : Beautification rituals  
  7.  Varaat : The wedding procession  
  8.  Lagna Mahurat : The wedding ceremony- divided into following segments:  
  9.  a) Varmala : The couple exchanges garlands  
  10.  b) Sulagna : The blessing  
  11.  Hara Dhera : Bridal send off  
  12.  Griha Pravesh : The bride enters her marital home  
  13.  Kankan : Untying of bracelets  
  14.  Reception : Post wedding celebrations  
  

MARWARI AGRAWAL WEDDING
The Marwari Agrawals though orthodox and tradition bound are still full of life, drive and initiative. For them marriage is an occasion for great extravagance, pomp and splendour.

Vast amounts are spent on decorations, food, jewellery, clothes and gifts. The ceremonies are bright and joyous and the lavish wedding celebrations can carry on for several days.
    
Some common surnames:
Birla, Goenka, Khemka, Poddar, Ruia, Jhunjhunwalla, Garg, Mangal, Kucchal, Goyan, Goyal, Bansal, Kansal, Singhal, Jindal, Thingal, Airan, Dharan, Madhukal, Bindal, Mittal, Tayal, Bhandal, Naagal, Parasrampuria
     
List of ceremonies  
  1.  Mudha-Tikka : The engagement ceremony  
  2.  Godh-Barai : The groom's sisters bring lavish gifts for the bride  
  3.  Sangeet : Musical get together by the ladies of the family  
  4.  Naandi : Pre-wedding 'puja'  
  5.  Bhaat : The bride's maternal uncle is invited to attend the wedding  
  6.  Tel Baan : A ritual bath  
  7.  Mehendi : The henna ceremony  
  8.  Korath : Male members from the bride's family invite the groom to the wedding venue  
  9.  Baraat : The groom leaves for the wedding venue in a ceremonial procession  
  10.  Baraat Swagat : Receiving the groom's 'baraat' or procession  
  11.  Varamala : Exchange of garlands between the bride and groom  
  12.  Pheras : Seven steps around the sacred fire  
  13.  Kanyadaan : Giving away the bride  
  14.  Seer-Guthi : The groom's sister puts vermilion on the bride  
  15.  Chuda : The bangle ceremony  
  16.  Mooh-Dekai : The bride is introduced to her husband's family  
  17.  Jua : Light hearted traditional ceremony  
  18.  Muti-Bund : Light hearted traditional ceremony  
  19.  Vidaai : Bridal send off  
  20.  Vadhu Pravesh : The bride enters her husband's home 

MARWARI JAIN WEDDING
The Oswals, who are mainly Jains, hail from the town of Osian, near Jodhpur in Rajasthan.

The Oswal Jains celebrate their festivals with great regularity, gaiety, colour and song.

The Marwari bridegroom carries a sword and is regally clad in a turban, jewellery and a coconut is tied to his side. He is mounted on a lavishly decorated mare and led in a procession to the bride's house. It is customary for him to touch a decoration fixed on the door with a 'neem' twig, or perhaps his sword before entering.

The marriage ceremonies that follow his arrival are elaborate and many of them are common to other Hindu communities. The light hearted ceremonies or 'games' that are played by the couple such as fishing for the ring in a bowl filled with milk or untying the knots on the bracelets are full of gaiety and laughter!
    
Some common surnames:
Baid, Jain, Sethia, Surana, Bhandary
     
List of ceremonies  
  1.  Khol Barana : The marriage alliance is confirmed  
  2.  Tikka : Gifts for the groom  
  3.  Bathse : Personal invitations to family and close friends  
  4.  Mayara : Exchange of gifts between both families  
  5.  Bana Betai : Preparing the bride and groom for the wedding ceremony  
  6.  Nikasi : The groom leaves for the wedding venue  
  7.  Padla : The bride receives the bridal outfit  
  8.  Varamala : Exchange of garlands between the bride and groom   
  9. Phera : The couple goes around the sacred fire seven times taking their marriage vows  
  10.  Bidaai : Bridal send off  

PARSEE WEDDING 
 
According to ancient Zorastrian texts, Ahura Mazda favours marriage.
Marriages in the Parsee community are encouraged because it is felt that a married man is always in a better position and state of mind to withstand the pressures of life!

A Parsee wedding is full of gaiety and laughter. The 'achoo meecho' (removing the evil eye) is performed practically before every single ceremony. The auspicious days to conduct weddings are either the first day of the month ('Hormazd Roj') or the twentieth day of the month ('Behram Roj'). It is believed that on 'Behram Roj' the angel of victory or 'Behram' presides over the ceremonies.

Fire is the most sacred element in the Parsee community and practically no ritual is complete without the use of fire.

Owing to Hindu influence, ceremonies are not conducted on moonless nights ('amavas') or on Saturdays.
    
Some common surnames:
Nowrowji, Gandhi, Nanavati, Bharucha, Maneckshaw, Batliwalla, Peddar, Daruwalla, Pestonji, Aria, Eduljee, Cooper, Bulsara, Dastoor, Irani, Bhesania, Sidhwa, Treasurywala, Broacha, Battiwala, Bagli,Contractor, Engineer, Mody, Master, Currim, Oomerbhoy, Aderianwala, Andhyarujina, Agha, Avari, Amrolivala, Bhoot, Billimoria, Boga, Bahppu, Bathela, Batliboy, Bhajiwala, Bhacha, Bhumgara, Bugvadia, Badsha, Bambot, Baja, Bhabha, Bhandara, Bhuchia, Buhari, Commisariat, Choksi, Cama, Chowna, Chinoy, Khambatta, Carnak
     
List of ceremonies  
  1.  Rupia Peravanu : The unofficial engagement  
  2.  Adravanu or Nam Padvun : The engagement  
  3.  Mandav-Saro : Planting of the mango sapling  
  4.  Aderni : Gifts for the bride are handed over to the groom's family by the bride's father  
  5.  Varadh-Patra : Religious ceremonies performed in honour of dead ancestors  
  6.  Nahn : Ritualistic bath  
  7.  The wedding : Commencement of marriage rituals  
  8.  The wedding procession : The families visit each other carrying gifts for the bride and groom  
  9.  Welcoming the wedding procession :   
  10.  The marriage ceremony :   
  11.  Tying the marital knot :   
  12.  Hathevaro : Hand fastening  
  13.  Showering of rice by the couple :   
  14.  The Vows : The strictly religious part of the marriage  
  15.  Ashirwaad : The blessing  
  16.  Chedda Cheddi : Light hearted ceremony  
  17.  Washing of feet :   
  18.  Dahi -Koomro : Special meal for the bridal couple  
  19.  Eki Beki : Light hearted ceremony  
  20.  Bridal send off :   
  21.  The marriage feast :   
  22.  Varova : Ceremony performed eight days after the wedding

ROMAN CATHOLIC-SARASWAT BRAHMIN WEDDING
A Roman Catholic Saraswat Brahmin wedding is always held in a church where a Holy Mass is conducted according to the rituals followed by the Roman Catholic Church.

The couple exchanges wedding rings and vows in the presence of family and friends. The Hindu custom of tying a 'mangalsutra' called 'piduk' in Konkani is also observed and during the nuptials the bridegroom ties it around the bride's neck.
    
Some common surnames:
Mascarenhas, Rasquinha, Alvares, Rodericks, Rebello, Fernandes , Menezes, Albquerque, Colaco, Lobo
     
List of ceremonies  
  1.  Mudi : The engagement  
  2.  Roce : Anointing the bride and groom  
  3.  Church Ceremony : Holy Matrimony  
  4.  Reception : Post wedding celebrations